


Let You Go

by Crystalinastar



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Anger, Confrontations, Gen, I love him but it was messed up still, One Shot, Post-Canon, but like also not??, first fic, galaxy gals if you squint, so if you're fine with that you can continue, the teen rating is literally only for one f-bomb and two 'hell's, what evan did was still messed up, zoe has some anger management issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 21:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16183547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystalinastar/pseuds/Crystalinastar
Summary: Zoe and Evan run into each other after Zoe's junior year ends. Things get heated.





	Let You Go

Zoe let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as the bell rang, signifying the release of school for the next two months. It had been a hell of a school year.

As she slung her bag over her shoulder, she decidedly didn’t think about the events that made it that way, and instead, met up with Alana outside the school. A smile graced her face. “Hey,” she greeted warmly.

“School’s finally over,” Alana said.

She snorted out a laugh. “For you, maybe. I still have one more year.”  
  
Alana caught her eyes. “Well, it can’t be worse than this year.” Zoe was stunned into silence; her now-graduated friend had never really brought up the year so nonchalantly before. Alana noticed, and continued, “I mean, you can’t lose another brother and- ah, I’m sorry. I’m still working on the whole-” she waved her hands around in a meaningless gesture, “-friends thing.”

“It’s fine,” Zoe said. Their spirits had dampened considerably, so Zoe widened her grin. “C’mon, let’s go to À La Mode. We’ve definitely deserved it.”

They biked to the ice cream shop together, Zoe relishing the small moment with the wind blowing past their ears and teasingly trying to go faster than the other.

Parking their bikes in front of the small shop, they entered together.

“What flavor do I want to try next?” Alana wondered aloud. Since the two had made coming to À La Mode a habit, Alana wanted to try all the flavors on the menu.

Zoe fake gagged and rolled her eyes. “Just choose one, ‘Lana.”

Alana decided on butter pecan. When Zoe asked why, Alana shrugged and said, “It looks interesting.”

Zoe slapped a ten dollar bill on the counter immediately when it was their turn to order. “A mint chip cone, please. And she’ll have-”  
  
The bell at the door chimed and a new customer entered. The sound briefly distracting her, Zoe turned to see a blond boy in a blue shirt and khakis enter. She froze.

Alana, noticing her distress, swooped in to finish the order. “I’ll have butter pecan in a cup.”

Her cheeks heated up. How _dare_ he just stroll into here like it was nothing. Zoe started walking towards him, curling and uncurling her fists (and wondering if it was a habit she picked up from Connor; she hoped not) in her anger. Evan himself was just standing there like a squirrel about to be run over by a car. 

“Hey Evan,” she gritted out, and she was sure she wasn’t even falsely sweet.

Evan fiddled with his damn shirt and didn’t look her in the eyes. “Hi Zo- Zoe.”

Alana appeared at her side in a second, a bowl and a cone in each of her hands. “Let’s just go sit down, Zo.”

She ignored Alana and did her best to square up and look intimidating. “How _dare_ you show your face after what you did. I didn’t think you’d have the _nerve_ to. Because anxiety, right?” she said, spitting his pathetic excuse back in his face.

“Zoe,” Alana said firmly, tugging on her shirt. “Let’s go.”  
  
Zoe didn’t know what Alana’s problem was, but she needed a chance to be angry and _furious_ at this- this person who _lied_ to her, giving her false hopes, and had her strung along on his little lie for months. They’d _kissed,_ and she’d shared some of her deepest thoughts, and it turned out her perfect boyfriend was all lies.

She sneered at Evan, who was struggling to formulate a response. “Fuck you, Evan,” she spat, and it was so, so satisfying. “You’re such a- such a-” She couldn’t come up with a word vile enough.

Tears were welling up in Evan’s eyes, eyes that used to hold hope and now held broken dreams. Zoe let Alana drag her into a booth. She stared at her minty green ice cream for a long while before licking it, hearing Alana apologizing to Evan and then blocking it out with the sounds of conversation around her.

“Zoe? Zoe!” Alana’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked up to her dark-skinned friend. “What happened? You’re shaking!”

“No, I’m not,” she denied, before she realized she was, indeed, shaking. She took a deep breath and made herself be still. She hurriedly wiped at her eyes in case there were tears, and when her hand came away wet, she felt grateful she took the extra measure.

“It’s _over,_ Zoe,” Alana said gently, taking Zoe’s hands in hers. “Evan’s not going to hurt you anymore.” 

“He hurt me enough. And why are you sticking up for him, anyways? He betrayed you too!”

“I…” Alana hesitated. “I talked with him. Civilly. Last weekend. I wanted answers, and well, he gave me some answers. Zoe, he-”  
  
Zoe pulled her hands away sharply. “So you’re in on it now, too? The ‘Protect Evan Hansen’ squad? I don’t want to hear you defend him, ‘Lana.”

Alana’s face was almost wounded. “I’m not defending him. He deserves what he got and more. I’m just saying that, you’re angry right now, and not thinking rationally. And he also feels guilty about what he did, Zo. Really, really guilty. Just between you and me, I think he tried to…” She made a slicing motion at her throat.

Zoe’s eyes widened. “Oh my God.” A bitter part of her (she couldn’t even say it was small) huffed and thought he should have. Zoe waved those thoughts away, because how much better was she than Connor if she thought stuff like that? “I feel kinda- I feel pretty bad now.”

It was true, mostly. In hindsight, Evan had clearly been having a difficult time. And Zoe just swooped in and started yelling at him.

Alana worked in a small smile. “Just apologize to him.” Zoe stiffened. _I’m not ready for that. Not yet._ “Not now, but on your own terms.”   
  
“I think you’re better at this friend thing then I am,” Zoe joked, albeit weakly.

The smile was on full force. And not the one she wore before when she had to be cheery always, no, it was one of Alana’s rare genuine smiles. “That would be pretty embarrassing, wouldn’t it?” Alana teased. 

Zoe laughed and returned the gesture. “Oh, totally, my _dearest acquaintance._ ”

 

* * *

 

She clicked on the name marked by devil emojis and the name ‘FUCKING BURN IN HELL.’ She snorted. Connor would be proud.

Her phone rang for a few seconds before being picked up. “Evan?” Zoe asked into the phone.

“Zoe- I mean, yeah, yeah it’s me. Evan,” he added after a beat of silence. Zoe winced, forgetting how awkward her ex-boyfriend was.

“So, Evan, I-” She swallowed thickly, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to say. “I think I’m ready to talk. With you. I know it’s been a while, but I want to… make things better, I guess.” She could still feel red hot rage simmering underneath her skin, but for all intents and purposes, she pushed it aside. She was confident that the fire would cool, in time.

“Oh, yeah, totally! Um, where do you want to, uh-”

“The orchard.” Zoe grinned to herself. The one good thing the Connor Project had done was bring back the orchard. She loved going back there and reliving the memories.

There was a pause before Evan replied. “Yeah, sure, I can do that. Um. How about, uh, tomorrow? At about noon? That’s when I’m free, so. I mean, we can always choose a different time, I’m just saying-”  
  
“That works,” Zoe cut off softly. “So, uh… see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Evan reaffirmed. Zoe hung up.

 

* * *

  

The apple orchard was calm, almost too peaceful for this meeting. Zoe had found herself hoping it would rain in, and they could postpone the meeting for another day. At the very least, she hoped the weather would mirror her emotions and have it be a cloudy day. Then, at least, she could wrap herself in cardigans like they weren’t barriers.

But instead, the sun was shining, and it was so hot out, Zoe had to tie her flannels around her waist. 

She sat at a bench, waiting. She could imagine Connor and Evan laying in the grass, chatting idly with each other like friends do. But they weren’t friends, so obviously, that never happened.

Soon, Evan stumbled in, still with a uniform on for - Zoe quickly scanned the letters - Pottery Barn. Her hand was half-raised in a wave when she realized she had no idea what to say. 

After a moment, Evan said, “Hey.”  
  
“Hi,” she said.

Zoe walked out of the orchard that afternoon with a sense of closure. She may not cross paths with Evan Hansen ever again, nor would she want to, but at least, she couldn’t hate him forever.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic. I dunno how much I like it, but I just wanted to write a fic where Zoe takes out her anger on Evan. Because, and even though as a fandom we like to put Evan on a pedestal, he's not perfect. And what he did was actually pretty messed up. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope I got the characterizations right. I'm not sure. Feel free to comment about it, or leave kudos. (my god did that sound like an ad? Or like a YouTuber? I'm not good at this)
> 
> (but seriously I feel like Zoe was too calm at the end but I'm basing this on Finale so)


End file.
